8 min to read
9 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Feel More Appreciated
Are you constantly feeling like your efforts go unnoticed? Do you pour your heart and soul into things, only to feel like no one appreciates it? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with feeling undervalued. The good news is, you have the power to change this. Sometimes, the key to feeling more appreciated lies in tweaking your own behaviors and setting healthy boundaries. Let’s dive into 9 things you should stop doing right now if you crave more recognition and respect.
1. Being a People-Pleaser
Constantly saying yes when you really want to say no is a surefire way to feel unappreciated. People-pleasing stems from a deep-seated need for external validation. You bend over backward to accommodate everyone else’s needs, often at the expense of your own. While helping others is admirable, doing it to the point of exhaustion and resentment just leaves you feeling used.
Instead of automatically agreeing to everything, pause and consider your own priorities. Learn to say “no” gracefully, without feeling guilty. “Thank you for asking, but I’m currently tied up with another project.” or “That sounds interesting, but I’m going to have to pass this time.” are great ways to decline politely. When you prioritize yourself and your time, others will start to value it too.
2. Underselling Your Accomplishments
Do you downplay your achievements or chalk them up to luck? Many of us are taught to be humble, but there’s a difference between humility and self-deprecation. When you consistently minimize your successes, you’re sending a message that they’re not significant. As a result, others may not fully recognize the effort and talent you put in.
Start owning your accomplishments! Share your wins, big or small, without feeling like you’re bragging. Use confident language and highlight the skills and hard work that contributed to your success. For example, instead of saying “I just got lucky on that project,” try “I’m really proud of how that project turned out. I utilized my problem-solving skills and dedication to deliver a great result.”
3. Not Setting Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what’s acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others. Without clear boundaries, people may unintentionally (or intentionally) take advantage of your generosity and kindness. When you allow others to cross your boundaries repeatedly, you’re essentially signaling that your needs aren’t important.
Start by identifying your personal boundaries in different areas of your life, such as work, relationships, and finances. Communicate these boundaries clearly and assertively. For instance, if you need uninterrupted time to focus on work, let your colleagues know that you’re unavailable during certain hours. Don’t be afraid to enforce your boundaries consistently. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s essential for protecting your well-being and earning respect.
4. Assuming People Can Read Your Mind
Expecting others to intuitively understand your needs and desires is a recipe for disappointment. No one can read your mind, no matter how close they are to you. Unspoken expectations often lead to misunderstandings and resentment. If you don’t clearly communicate what you need, you can’t expect others to meet those needs effectively.
Practice open and honest communication. Clearly articulate your needs and expectations, whether it’s at work, in your relationships, or at home. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and desires without placing blame. For example, instead of saying “You never help with the dishes,” try “I feel overwhelmed when I have to do all the dishes myself. Could you please help me out more often?” Clear communication makes it easier for others to understand you and meet your needs.
5. Giving Without Receiving
While selfless giving is a virtue, consistently giving without receiving can lead to burnout and resentment. Relationships and interactions should be reciprocal. If you’re always the one giving and never receiving, you’re setting yourself up for feeling undervalued and taken advantage of.
Learn to receive gracefully. Allow others to reciprocate your kindness and support. If someone offers to help you, accept their offer instead of automatically refusing. Show appreciation for their efforts. Remember, receiving is just as important as giving. It strengthens relationships and fosters a sense of mutual respect and appreciation.
6. Avoiding Confrontation
Avoiding conflict in the hopes of maintaining peace can backfire. While it might seem easier to sweep issues under the rug, unresolved conflicts can fester and lead to resentment. When you consistently avoid confrontation, you’re sacrificing your own needs and feelings for the sake of others’ comfort.
Learn to address conflicts constructively. Choose a calm and appropriate time and place to discuss your concerns. Focus on the issue at hand and avoid personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming the other person. Look for solutions that address both your needs and the other person’s needs. Addressing conflicts directly can lead to stronger relationships and a greater sense of mutual respect.
7. Neglecting Self-Care
When you’re constantly prioritizing everyone else’s needs, it’s easy to neglect your own well-being. Failing to take care of yourself can lead to burnout, stress, and decreased self-esteem. If you’re running on empty, you won’t have the energy or emotional resources to give to others or assert your needs effectively.
Make self-care a priority! Schedule time for activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. This could include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or simply relaxing and unwinding. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to handle stress, set healthy boundaries, and advocate for your own needs.
8. Comparing Yourself to Others
Constantly comparing yourself to others is a surefire path to feeling inadequate and unappreciated. Social media often presents a distorted view of reality, showcasing only the highlights of other people’s lives. Comparing yourself to these curated images can lead to feelings of envy, insecurity, and low self-worth.
Focus on your own unique journey and accomplishments. Celebrate your strengths and acknowledge your progress. Remember that everyone has their own path and timeline. Instead of comparing yourself to others, use them as inspiration to strive for your own goals. Cultivate gratitude for what you have and appreciate your own unique qualities and talents.
9. Seeking External Validation
Relying on external validation for your self-worth is a dangerous game. When your sense of value depends on the opinions of others, you become vulnerable to their approval and disapproval. This can lead to people-pleasing, overworking, and a constant need for reassurance.
Cultivate self-acceptance and learn to value yourself from within. Identify your strengths and accomplishments, unabhängig davon, what others think. Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. When you value yourself from within, you’re less reliant on external validation and more likely to feel appreciated for who you truly are.
Conclusion
Feeling appreciated is a fundamental human need. By recognizing and addressing these 9 common behaviors, you can take control of your own narrative and cultivate a life filled with more recognition, respect, and fulfillment. Remember, it starts with you. By setting healthy boundaries, communicating your needs clearly, and valuing yourself from within, you create the space for others to appreciate you for who you truly are. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel valued; start appreciating yourself, and others will follow suit.
